Since I left the planet Wonder in the Orion Galaxy, my spacecraft has traveled 1230 light years to Earth. If we hadn't been able to build spacecraft traveling at the speed of light, this time would have doubled or tripled. I feel like a pickle. It is only natural that I should feel like this since I have traveled 1230 light years in liquids like cans and refrigerated. By the way, my parents, siblings, wife, and children must be dead already. But what can you do? We have to put up with it for science.

According to the initial calculations, I would land at Cape Canaveral Spaceport. But I woke up 15 minutes late and entered the last commands into the computer system late, so I landed on the Konya Plain. No problem. After all, the world is just a tiny pale blue dot. The planet's inhabitants have the same beliefs and legal regulations except for three or five minor differences. When I can use my body after a few months of physical therapy, I'll visit Cape Geneveral Spaceport.

According to my computer data, I am in a country called Turkey. When I opened the vehicle door, two officers wearing protective suits against radio contamination first came to check whether such a fallout could affect me. Then, three people who said they were members of the Turkish Armed Forces did security checks. Now, I am waiting for the customs officer, and after I fill out the customs declaration, an ambulance will take me to the physical therapy center at the hospital.

Oh, that must be the customs officer. It's good that the language translator digital headset is loaded with 200 world languages, including Turkish. I could put on my language translator headset.

• Greetings. I'm Rustem from Konya Customs.
• Hello. Hello. I'm Dizzy from the planet Wonder.
• I need you to fill out this customs declaration. 
• Yes, I will.
• Are you here temporarily or permanently?
• I don't have time or fuel to go back. This spacecraft can't move a meter without being disassembled. Of course, I'm staying in this country.
• Then fill out the papers, not as a temporary import declaration, but as a declaration of free circulation. And do you have the money to pay the import duties?
• With this in mind, they gave me two gold bars from the planet Wonder. I can pay with them.

I have scanned the declaration into our computer system. All fields are filled in digitally, and I sign the declaration in two minutes and give it to Mr. Rustam...

What's that? Fifteen minutes passed, and the system couldn't fill in the declaration. I wonder why; let me check... Okay, I found it. The system recognized taxes such as Customs Duty, Value Added Tax, Stamp Duty, and Special Consumption Tax, but it keeps giving me the message "not recognized" for the TRT Bandrol Fee. I'd better ask Mr. Rustem about it.

• Mr. Rüstem, the computer system of my spacecraft gives a message "not identified" for the TRT Bandrol Fee. Is this an import tax?
• It is not. It's a payment to TRT.
• What is this payment for?
• TRT stands for Turkish Radio and Television Corporation. According to Law No. 3093, it is levied on radio or television equipment produced in Türkiye or imported into Türkiye. It is a source of income for TRT.
• It looks like an expense tax. However, as long as I am on Earth, I will never watch TRT broadcasts. Why should I pay this money?
• It doesn't matter whether you watch it or not, Mr. Dizzy. If you have a vehicle with a radio or television, you are obliged to pay for it.
• And does this organization broadcast all radio and television broadcasts in Türkiye?
• No, it is not. TRT is the official state broadcaster. Apart from its broadcasts, there are thousands of television and radio broadcasting organizations. No one in Türkiye watches TRT broadcasts except those living in a few mountain villages where access to broadcasting is difficult. But that is the law.
• TRT must share these banderole fees it collects with other broadcasting organizations.
• What do you think? All the revenue stays with TRT. Other organizations try to survive with advertising revenues or sponsorships.
• So now you are telling me, "You will pay taxes for a service you will never receive in your lifetime," right? 
• Yes, I am.
• But my spacecraft is not a radio or television. It's an advanced technological vehicle.
• It doesn't matter. According to Law No. 3093 on Turkish Radio-Television Revenues, the TRT Bandrol Fee is collected from mobile phones, computers and computer tablets, land vehicles, and other vehicles besides radio and television.
• But no device on this spacecraft is considered radio and television in the classical sense. All of them are devices produced according to the rules of quantum physics used for digital communication.
• For example. Law No. 3093 states, "The term device in this law refers to the whole device that can receive all kinds of visual and audio broadcasts with or without additional software or hardware support via internal tunnel, internet or other means, even if its primary function is different." So there is no escape, Mr. Dizzy, you will pay the TRT Bandrol Fee.
• Tell me how much I will pay, and I will pay you, Mr. Rüstem.
• You can't pay me. According to the law, you have to pay the TRT Authority.
• How will I pay there?
• Now take a taxi from here to Konya city center. Buy a ticket for the Ankara train at Meram Train Station. When you get to Ankara Station, take a cab and tell the driver to take you to the big blue TRT building on Turan Güneş Boulevard in the OR-AN district. You can pay at the counter in that building.
• I can't walk without physical therapy for three or four months. How can I make such a journey to pay the TRT Bandrol Fee? Is there a payment like this in all countries of the world?